More summer fun!

So I think I've officially lost count on days, so I'll just post more from our 2nd and 3rd weeks of summer fun!

More time at the pool. . .

Playing in the waiting room of the pulmonary clinic . . . hey, it's still fun!

Playing in the backyard pool

On the train with Nicholas and BJ at Airplane park

On the train!!!

Biking to the park with Mommy!

Backyard Panera picnic!

Comparing BJ's hand to the gorilla's!

The park in our pj's!

Fun Summer Pics

BJ and I have been having a blast while I'm off on my mini summer! Here are some pics from our adventures!

Day 1: Wash Park

Picnic Lunch

Slides!!
He picked out his own hat!
Feeding the ducks!

Day 2: The zoo with friends Issac and Silas: The Carousel Before the Ride Started

During the ride

With Issac in a covered wagon (sorry for the finger Issac!)

Day 3: Helping uncle Matt and Daddy build a deck in the backyard with the "shobel"

Day 5: At the park with our friend Nicholas

Day 6: At the Pool with Nicholas

Day 7: Model Train show (hard to get pics while holding a 21 month old and trying to make sure he doesn't touch the trains!)

Day 8: Running errands to go to Steamboat!

More Steamboat pics

These are from my phone, so bear with me. Working on his book from Aunt Miranda on the drive.

Drinking a Limeade at an old fashioned soda fountain.

Riding the horse in front of F.M. Light and Sons.

Steamboat Fun!

Some quick pics from our recent vacation to Steamboat, so fun!! Lots of hiking, swimming, naps, etc.

View from the top of Mt. Werner

Hiking takes it out of you!

Swimming with Daddy!

Hiking!

At Fish Creek Reservoir

Endings. . .

After a quarter century of training, the day is finally here. . . I am finished with residency. I have so much to say and so many emotions that I cannot even express them all, especially because I need to go pick up my son and start my three week summer of being a "fun mommy." We actually had graduation a few weeks back, but since I had 3 weeks to make up from maternity leave, I didn't want to post anything- it just didn't feel right yet. It has been a long haul, very long haul. So many people on the outside think it seems to have gone fast (especially the last 3-7 years), but those close to me would disagree. It has been quite a journey. It is even interesting to see how life has changed while I have finished the medical part of my training. 7 years ago, I was almost ready to start medical school after working hard for 4 years on a degree and record that would get me into a good medical school. Brandon and I were newly married (and he had just started a new, first job). We lived in an apartment in Iowa City, IA, where we knew no one. Since that time we have made countless friends, been in 2 other houses (even remodeled ie: gutted the first one), have had and given away a dog, had an amazing son, traveled many miles for away rotations/to visit family, lost way too many hours of sleep, could fill a swimming pool with the number of tears shed, and have been changed by God and his hand in all of it. The finality is amazing- I have finally realized my dream of being Dr. Mom. I really am speechless, but I will leave you with a few thank yous (some stolen from my graduation speech).

To our friends, in Iowa, Denver, Omaha, and around the world, thank you for supporting me and loving me throughout this painful journey.

To my class- you are all amazing, thank you for being in the trenches with me, covering my back, for growing, laughing, crying, complaining, and being with me through it all.

To Matt and Maria- thanks for the countless meals, lodging, supportive ear for me and my family. Thanks for the free child care, countless gifts, and for loving me and my family as part of your own

To Scott and Vicki, thanks for the millions of prayers lifted on my behalf

To Miranda, my sister, thanks for the constant encouragement, advice, and love, you mean the world to me

To BJ my son, thanks for teaching me what is important in life, you are such an amazing demonstration of God's love for us.

To my parents, especially my mom, my best friend, for the never-ending support. You both inspire me to always do my best, never doubting I could do it (at least not out loud), for lending a listening ear. You two are incredible.

To my husband, Brandon, who by this time could probably pass the boards himself after supporting me through college, medical school, and residency. I could not have done any of it without you. You are my life, my love. Thank you for your sacrifices for my dream, and for loving me even on my ugly post-call days. You have blessed my life, more than you’ll ever know.

Cars and Doggies

So I'm terrible at keeping the blog updated- those who faithfully check- I so appreciate it! I do actually read quite a few other blogs, and I do myself get frustrated at times with no updates. Now if I could just find more dedicated, scheduled time to blog... As I write this, I am smiling while I eavesdrop on bedtime. Brandon and I started trading off bedtime routine nights, after we both wanted to be there with him, but found that both of us was too much. So now we trade. But tonight, I'm enjoying bedtime even when it is not my night. BJ is "reading" to Daddy. He has picked out his favorite books (of the night) and is pointing out the "trucks" and "doggies" on every page. He has truly become a boy after his dad's heart with a love for dogs and for vehicles of any type. He loves working on the car with Daddy, and points out every dog anywhere (although he's not sure he wants to touch them). He loves to sit in the front seats of the cars and "drive" them, all the while spinning the steering wheel and making "vroom, vroom" noises. We recently took him to a car show complete with drag races. These cars were loud, and you would expect any other 20 month old to be scared. But when I looked down to check on BJ while the cars screamed past, he was cheering them on, clapping and giving an impressed "oooo!" As far as doggies go, he points at them all, running quickly after them, but stops short of them touching him- until last weekend, when he warmed up to Brandon's sister's dog Barney. Barney is a sweet cocker spaniel that was very patient- by the end of the weekend, BJ was whacking him with a "gentle" pet, and all were enjoying themselves! He hasn't cured himself of his dog allergy quite yet, however, we left the weekend with new eczema spots on his face and a few stray coughs, but we managed. Here are some pics:

"Vroom, vroom"

With Daddy at the Father's Day Rockies Game!

Dancing in the stands at the drag strip (with bun in hand)

Father and Son, scoping out the strip!

Fear

My devotional today was on fear, and it made me realize, much of my struggles recently are rooted in fear. As most working moms, I struggle with guilt and frustration at trying to balance it all. I hear about my friends who stay at home and sometimes worry about what I'm missing out on. I want to be very clear- I do not disagree or judge SAHM (stay at home moms), WAHM (working at home moms), or working moms, I think we all do what is best for us and our family, but I think there is an element of guilt associated with whatever your decision is. But I think at an even deeper level, there is an element of fear (at least for me). Fear that you made the wrong decision, fear that your child won't turn out "right", fear that you will miss big events (either in your child's life, or what you could have accomplished at work), fear that no one really supports, agrees, or understands you- and what that means about you. I mean if no one understands you, how will they accept/know the "real" you, and how can they support something they don't understand. My biggest fear: failure, in any and every realm. Failing as a mom, failing as a professional, failing as a doctor, failing as a wife, failing as a friend, daughter, sister, lover. But the bottom line is that as women, we always have many roles- too many, and it is impossible to succeed at all of them. And yet we continue to try, and struggle, to do them all. Chances are we will have to let some of them go, our jobs, the perfect house, the beautiful garden, our training for a marathon- something, and yet the trade off is totally worth it: succeeding in the areas that do matter to us, even if it is minor successes, I do believe our hard work will pay off. Regardless, I believe God has called us to be fearless, not fearful. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Some would say fear is a great motivator, which may be true, but I think an even more powerful motivator is a spirit of power, love, and sound mind. I will probably always struggle with fear and worry (I am a female AND a mom), but I'm going to try and remember God has given me a spirit of power, love, and sound mind- and lean on him to help me cultivate these spirits! After all, I think that is the kind of wife, mom, doctor, professional, friend, sister, lover, I'm supposed to be, and everyone deserves.