What I hope my kids will remember about me. . .

I have been thinking a lot lately- with Obama supporting gay marriage, the Times article about attachment parenting, my own criticisms of never being perfect. . .  as much as I have some strong opinions about much of the above, and other "hot" topics, I think it is sad that we use these issues to beat up verbally (or in prose) on each other.  The title of Times article "Are you Mom enough?" suggesting that somehow those who attachment parent are more moms than the rest of us is so interesting to me.  I have a lot of arguments myself on the topic- but since I haven't read the article and really didn't get on tonight to discuss the utility of nursing and to what age, I thought of a different perspective.  What do I hope my kids remember about me?  Here is a start of a list:

-Not that I went to church on a regular basis, but that I loved God and prayed for our family daily.
-Not that I never fought with their dad or got irritated, but that I continued to pursue him, my love, everyday of our lives.
-Not that I was home or worked or how I spent all of my time, but how I spent it when I was with them.
-Not that there were some nights I came home from work after they went to bed, but that I was always willing to sleep in their bed with them on the "bad" nights.
-Not that I always had the answer, but that I would always listen.
-Not that I was "skinny," but that I was active, and never stopped moving.
-Not that the world centered around them, but that I taught them how to have balance in life.
-Not that dinner was always amazing, but it was always together as a family.
-Not that I made them eat their veggies or limited sugar, but that they knew how to eat healthfully, to fuel themselves for the day.
-Not that my house was amazing, clean, or always picked up, but it was always ours.
-Not that I was strict, but that I taught them how to be smart in this scary world.
-Not that they had to live up to my expectations, but that they were special because they were mine.
-Not that I didn't make mistakes, but how I fixed them when I did make them.
-Not that I could do everything, but that I always tried.
-Not that my love is perfect, but that God's is.
-Not that I could protect them from everything, but that I taught them to defend themselves.
-Not that they should be afraid of the enemy, but that they would be individuals, that when they rise from bed in the morning, Satan would say "Shoot, they're up!"
-Not that I always loved every moment of every day, but that I always loved being their mom.

We do so much as parents because we want so much more for our kids, and we do the best we can, everyday, according to what we believe is best for them.  I want my kids to grow up to see the deeper meaning in all of it, and if I remember to live that way on a daily basis-it doesn't really matter who's parenting technique is right or if we never make mistakes. As I said, this is a start to the list, not the whole thing.

BJ and Anika, I am amazingly blessed to be your mom, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  There are days where I am scared about the future, scared that I won't do the right thing, or will be unable to protect you- but I will always love you- no matter what.  I plan to spend everyday God gives us together trying to teach you of His love and mine, so that you will never doubt how much we love you and how special you are to us.  God has entrusted you both to me, and I pray He is honored with how I take care of His little blessings.
Love Mommy

No Nuts Please!

So quick update, I am TRYING to make a more concerted effort to update this more frequently- maybe if I write less that will help. :) (Hopefully- huh Ran?)

Last week was BJ's nut challenge.  He has been struggling with allergies for a long time now- I stopped having dairy while breastfeeding at BJ 3 months of age, and around 1 we verified a dairy allergy, and found out he had an egg and peanut allergy too (in addition to his dog allergy).  We've been diligent in avoiding all of these things- and he has outgrown his dairy allergy- yay for cheese!!  With allergy testing there are two ways to look for an allergy- blood IgE levels (think of them as allergy levels) and skin test.  Recently, after having egg in baked goods for 6 months (after passing a "muffin" challenge), we retested his blood- (sidenote: venipuncture in a 3 year old is not fun- so thankful we only have to do that rarely!!).  His IgE on egg had risen some, his IgE on nuts and dogs was 0, so we scheduled a food challenge.  At the day of the food challenge, they ran a quick skin test-  (putting serum with portions of the allergen on his skin and then barely scratching that area).  His hive to egg was small 2 x 2 mm and his hive (or wheal) to peanut was 5 x 5 mm.  Dr. Dan (who we love) decided to proceed with the nut challenge given he has NEVER had any nut exposure in his life (except breastmilk, which Dr. Dan doesn't feel contributes much).  (Wow, I'm very parenthetical today :))  He had the smallest drop on a spoon of peanut butter and within 20 minutes had 3 hives developing on his face.  We decided to call the challenge a "failure" for today, even though BJ felt fine, as we were worried increasing the dose would only increase his reaction.  After 1.5 hours the hives went away, and we went to Bernie's Hot Dog Co. for lunch.  On the way, BJ asked me to call Grammy and tell her that he could have peanut butter now.  We have always emphasized his allergies, and he is great asking if this has eggs or nuts in it, "cuz it will make me sick."  And because he didn't feel sick after that drop of PB, he thought he had passed :)  It took me a little while to convince him he still can't have nuts :)  We will return in another month to try an egg challenge.  I'm crossing my fingers on that one, he is very aware of it and wants to have eggs.  I just don't think the colored Easter eggs in my fridge will last that long- he won't let any of us eat them.  In fact, I better check that they aren't completely rotten :)

Other cute things lately:

BJ sayings:
"I was 3 and 1/2 yesterday, I'm 4 today and tomorrow I'll be 5."
"Dear Lord, thank you for Mommy, Daddy, and my parents"
"Mom, do you have to go to work today, but you already did!"
"Have a good day Daddy, see you on the goputer" (referring to skype with Daddy when he is away)
"Mommy, you are such a good mom!"


And Anika- just her sweet smiles and wanting to be near us- the other day I was leaving for work and she crawled straight to me- she wanted to say goodbye too!!

She is loving puffs these days- so much so that if you don't sweep after feeding her them, she will crawl to them and eat them off the floor. Quick snack :)

 Kayla, Nicholas, and BJ at the zoo