Good Mommy

There are times when thinking of all the ways I've failed as a mom today are easier than coming up with the ways I've succeeded.  And tonight feels like one of them- should I have played more?  The day raced by,and I got things done but what about spending time with my kiddos.  So here is my list of what I did right as a mom today.

-I cheered, high fived, and thumbs-upped their accomplishments in the pool

-I made a lunch and dinner that was nutritious and "yummy"

-I had yummy snacks

-I brought hot chocolate to warm up with at the pool so they wouldn't be so cold coming out of the pool

-I ate pretend cakes and answered questions about my favorite ingredients to get it just right

-I let them jump in and out of the running stroller during my run

-I bought colored goldfish just for them

-I carried bikes to the backyard for them to play

-I kissed numerous owies

-I sat and read him a book he loves

-I gave hugs and kisses at bedtime

-My kids know I love them

Dear BJ and Anika

It's been a hard day in a hard week, in a somewhat difficult season in our lives. I don't say that so everyone will tell me I'm doing hard important work and doing a great job at it, I just say it because it is.  And in so many ways, I am ready for our sweet Jesus to come and carry us away in paradise.  But because I don't know when that will happen, I need my kids to know, always and forever, that I am fiercely in love with them

BJ and Anika,

I am fiercely in love with you.  Always, no matter what.  I don't care what choices you make, where you go in life, or what you think of me, but I will always always love you.  Anika, you talked today about that "Mommy will never let us get hurt."  I so wish that was true, bug.  I wish I had the capability to shield you from hurts- both physical, emotional, and spritirual, but I don't.  Yes, I will always do everything in my power to protect you and your brother, but it's not all in my power. (And we all know I love to control everything :))  Truth is, you may get hurt, as we live in a fallen, unperfect world.  But just as equally true is that I will always be there for you, rooting you on, kissing your owies, and holding you while you cry, whether I'm there physically or not.  And even more so, Jesus, the Lover of our souls will never let you down.  We don't always understand the plan out there (sometimes it is so confusing) but I truly believe He will never let us down.  And even though I've made so many mistakes today, and have thousands more to make as life goes on, God never never makes mistakes.  He didn't make a mistake in making you, in placing you in my arms to care for, in the plan He has for your life and our family, and in His plans for calling you back to Himself.  His ways are perfect.  I will continue to love you, nuture you, laugh with you, dance with you, pray for you the best that I know how.  Never doubt that, never doubt my love for you.  And even more, know that when I mess up, your Heavenly Father will never mess up, and much more so- He is always waiting for you to run up, call Him Daddy, and fall into His outstretched arms.  I  love you, always and forever.

XOXOXO
Mommy

BJ at 6 (and a half)

Somehow I missed writing about BJ for his 6th bday- so here is a late entry on him at 6.5

Nicknames: Beej, little man, stinker, lovebug, bug, Captain, bud, Stink, Little stink, Bugaboo

Weight & Height: growing like a weed, 55 lbs?

Hair: Blonde, getting darker :(

Favorite foods: "hot dog, mac and cheese" 

Favorite toys: Legos

Favorite stuffed animal: Konr (Conner) his stuffed dog

Favorite animal: "cheetah"

Bedtime: 8 p.m.

Wake-up time: 6:50 or later (not taking naps in Kindergarten days makes him sleep in later) 

Naps: one nap a day for 1-2 hours- maybe 1-2x a week

Favorite person: "Grammy and Papa"

Latest Accomplishment: reading simple books himself- he's so proudLikes: "build puzzles, play Legos, play games (Skipbo, Aggravation), play on the iPad- Lexia and Dreambox"

Dislikes:"cats, shots, bad dreams, basketball"

What he is saying: he is more mature and responsible in his speech and thinking daily (and we are continuing to work on Spanish- 1 month of classes with mommy teaching lately)

What gets said about BJ most often: how well mannered he is, how responsible and kind he is, how much he looks like Daddy

Fears: "nothing" (not sure I believe it)

Health: only allergy left is peanuts, he got glasses this school year due to discovery that he is farsighted in his left eye 

What he wants to be when he grows up: "engineer"

How he's like Daddy:he likes Mommy, has a mischievous grin at times, loves to "drive the car", wants to do EVERYTHING Daddy does, social
How he's like Mommy: his coloring, his hugs, love of cuddling, short fuse for frustration, his kind heart with smaller kids

Funny things he's done lately: he makes me laugh daily, he has an infectious giggle, the other night Anika and BJ wanted to sleep in the same bed at night and they couldn't stop laughing about Daddy's instructions

Sweet things lately;  he and Anika are rapidly becoming such great friends, they play well together, taking turns playing what the other wants to play 2. BJ loves to make notes and books about how much he loves Dady and and I- so sweet

Mother's Day

I haven't written in forever- school is almost out and my last post was the first day of school.  I completely forgot to do a 6 year old BJ post, so that is on my to do list now.  But just a thought.  I love being a mom.  Yes, it is exceedingly hard, with midnight awakenings for illness, scary dreams, and potty breaks, the not being appreciated, the very rare breaks we get, the worry about raising them right, it is so much harder than I ever dreamed.  But the benefits are immeasurable.  The dandelion bouquets, the homemade cards, the early morning snuggles, the maple syrup kisses, the "I love you's".  And I know it may even get harder as they age and aren't as cute as they are right now, and don't forgive as easily, but I love these two little gifts from God excessively.

BJ and Anika,
It is my honor to be your mom, to watch you grow, kiss your owies, and pray over you at night.  I pray that the God who covers over a multitude of sins will redeem my messy imperfect parenting and lead you onto the path He has for you.  I may raise my voice to much (passionately), and may be a little on the crazy side (always), but am forever crazy about you two.  Never doubt that, I am your biggest fan, your hugest supporter, and cannot wait to see what God has in store for the two of you!
Love you to the moon and back,
Mom